Prenuptial Agreements: Coming together ... smarter

As a divorce lawyer, I am very curious about general psychological aspects of people getting together and coming apart. Divorce rates are very high. Now, there is even an idea that dissolution of marriage may be contagious. (Yes, really. If you are interested in the study that had produced that conclusion, please visit http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/10/21/is-divorce-contagious/.) So I am asking myself, wouldn’t it make sense to rationally explore a (hopefully) life-long commitment, such as marriage, prior to making it?

Yes, I am talking prenuptial agreements, which I draft as a part of my family law practice. But I am also talking honest communication in setting ground rules. In the very beginning, a marriage is about the white dress, the wedding cake, about feelings, feelings, feelings; about “we will live happily ever after and will die on the same day.” But then the feelings subside (and they do and they will). The last thing we want to discover at that point is this: the commitment is now being forced between two people who have very little in common.

Defining the rules upfront is the key. This is my view only, based on talking to many, many people going through a separation. As they say, take what you like and leave the rest. Upfront rules make clear the expectations of each other and of the relationship. Upfront rules also help with stability and predictability in a home in certain ways, which helps a lot in our generally unstable world.

This is an interesting article that addresses setting ground rules prior to making a commitment: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201611/7-questions-you-have-ask-each-other-you-commit.  That is about the psychology of it. But there is also a legal part, which is what I do.

The moral of the story: High divorce rates are an unfortunate reality. “Living together” unmarried relationships are also not immune from the possibility of ending. Better have clear expectations now than stressful and expensive divorce or separation negotiations later. I have done these; they are not fun to go through for people who are coming apart. So, as far as the legal part of a committed relationship is concerned, come see me and we will talk about how we should define these upfront ground rules in the eyes of the law. 

Attorney Julia Bouianova

(920) 261-7626

www.benderlevilarson.com

WISCONSIN ESTATE PLANNING: "When should I update my estate plan?"

For many, the New Year is a time for reflecting on past milestones and setting goals for the future.  This process can raise anxiety, particularly if you are unsure if your estate plan still meets your needs.  Certain significant lifetime events occurring after your current plan was created may cause a need to modify your plan, with some examples including:

• Changes in financial or personal lifetime goals;
• A career change, promotion, or change in a business you or your spouse own;
• The purchase of a home or other major asset, taking on a large loan or other significant financial liability, or major changes in the value of asset you currently hold;
• Marriage or divorce;
• Illness or disability;
• Changes in your life insurance or long-term care insurance coverage;
• Receipt of a large gift or inheritance;
• The addition of new children or grandchildren to your family, or changes in children's or grandchildren's educational, medical or supportive needs;
• Death or change in circumstance of a guardian, executor, or trustee you previously named; and
• Changes in your number of dependents.

If you have experienced one or more of the events listed above, it may be time to schedule a confidential consultation with the team at Bender, Levi, Larson & Associates, S.C.  We specialize in estate planning, probate law, and elder law and are prepared to provide clients with comprehensive legal solutions for their planning needs.  Start the year confidently - schedule a meeting with us today!  

(920) 261-7626

info@benderlevilaw.com
www.benderlevilarson.com